On Friday, November 1st, 2019, around 10:30am, I saw Liam Hemsworth in my condo gym.
He was sprinting on the treadmill… fast enough that the machine was shaking and I was concerned for it’s well-being.
We later spoke briefly…
“Are you using this?” I asked, pointing at a rope on the ground near his feet. I was 90% sure he wasn’t using it…
“Nah,” he replied shaking his head.
“Thanks,” I said.
It. Was. Magical.
Apparently he was in town shooting something and he was staying in my building on a short-term basis.
Why am I telling you this?
Well, from my perspective, the important part of this story is that I was not at work on a pre-COVID Friday morning.
The reason is that I had just finished up the single most challenging month of my life and I simply could not handle going into work.
Thank god for Liam. Without him (and my best dude Mike who dropped everything to spend the afternoon with me) I don’t know how I would have recovered.
RECAPPING OCTOBER 2019
I just reread the blog post I wrote last year: How the Hardest Month of My Life Made Me Believe in Myself and Follow My Dreams and I must say… I’m re-exhausted just reading the recap.
If you have a minute, check out the full post, but just to recap, that month involved:
2 deaths
2 funerals
1 award
1 overwhelming professional rejection
1 vacation
1 pirate costume
A lot of other exhausting stuff
And through all that, my resume writing business did surprisingly well.
That was also the month that I decided to quit my job and take the entrepreneurial life full-time. So wherever I end up… I owe it, in part, to that struggle.
AND THEN THERE WAS COVID
Knowing what we know now, it’s very weird to look back at pre-COVID month and say it was the hardest month of my life… if only I knew what we were all about to go through.
I would love to go back and tell myself to enjoy that I at least could go to the gym… or work… or hug my friends and family at funerals.
Would I still call that the hardest month of my life, knowing what I know now?
I’m not sure… maybe…
I don’t see value in comparing apples to oranges in this case… lots of things are hard in very different ways.
PLANS WERE MADE… AND THEY KIND OF WORKED
I don’t mind admitting that I’m really proud of myself, looking back on that post.
There were things that I said I wanted for my future, back when I was going through a really dark time… and despite all the COVID-related challenges, I went through with those plans.
In October 2019, my then-side-hustle generated enough money to cover over half my monthly expenses and I asked, “What could I do if I actually dedicated myself to this thing?”
Well… in my 3rd month as a full-time entrepreneur, I have (for the first time ever) surpassed my monthly expenses with my business income. And I’m looking at starting to contribute to my retirement savings again in the near future.
I mentioned formulating an exit strategy from my current job that I hoped to organize before the December break… and I did that too!
And the exit strategy went beautifully.
I took a 6-month contract in another department and used that time to save up and prepare for the leap… and I freakin did it!
I wish depressed last-year me could have known how well his plan was going to work. It might not have been so hard to get through the hardest of times :)
THE LESSON LEARNED HERE
If you find yourself struggling (and lots of us are right now, of course), just think about the version of you in the future who wishes they could come back to this moment and tell you how well things are going to work out.
Those ambitions you have… the goals in the back of your head… if you put in the time and effort, you can make them happen.
AM I ABSOLUTELY KILLING IT RIGHT NOW?
No.
Nope.
Definitely not.
I’m still going through daily struggles, self-doubt, and fear.
Yesterday was the 25th of the month. I used to have a big fat paycheck come in on that day. And yesterday, I thought about that. And all my friends / former colleagues who still receive that paycheck.
And still… once in a while, I ask myself if I made a mistake.
But that feeling never lasts, because I’m so damn happy that every day, I get to decide what I’m doing, what I’m working on, and when I’m doing it.
And that’s the most important thing to me.
The money… well I planned for that. And as I said, I’m not making as much as I used to yet, but I’m making more than I thought I would be 3-months into this journey.
THE BIGGEST DOUBTS AND FEARS
Whenever I do something new in my business…
Like launch my online course: Job Search Institute: Everything You Need to Get Hired in 5 Days, or start paying for Facebook Ads, or using my mailing list…
There is a lot of:
Failure
Mistakes
Self-doubt
Anxiety
Learning
And as long as that learning keeps happening… I feel okay.
(But seriously… paying for Facebook Ads had caused a lot of anxiety because for the first time, I’m shelling out substantial money to advance my business and it takes a lot of tweaking and learning to turn advertising into revenue but damnit, me and my Excel brain I’m determined to make this work).
SO WHAT’S NEXT?
I’m continuing to work with clients, writing resumes and cover letters, creating LinkedIn profiles and all that fun stuff.
And meanwhile, I’m working on getting the word out to as many people as possible about Job Search Institute because that is the best and fastest way I know to help as many people as possible.
FOR ANYONE ELSE WHO IS STRUGGLING
I’m sorry you aren’t doing well. You are not alone. And you will get through this :)
If you’re in Ontario, I recently enrolled in a digital therapy program called Beacon which is completely free for Ontarians (cost covered by the Government of Ontario). I’d highly recommend at least checking it out to see if it’s for you!
