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Hot damn, you guys! This pandemic has been MESSED UP!
I know my mental health has taken a hit from various levels of stress.
Think about all ways this is hitting us…
On the broadest scale: there’s the mass illness and death around the world that’s weighing on all of us like a heavy, heavy weight (wow, super weak analogy, sorry! It’s all I’ve got right now)
Then there’s the new, fun anxiety dreams we get to have the night before we go grocery shopping. I looove those. Being afraid to do normal things sucks.
And then not seeing the people we love. And the people we like. And even the people we aren’t huge fans of. Ariana is, of course, the best, but anyone besides her would be overwhelmingly interesting to have a face-to-face conversation with for me.
We’re all on a spectrum somewhere between bored and stark-raving-stir-crazy-mad from being stuck in our houses 99% of the time, pining for when we get to go on our precious “walk”.
Then, perhaps one of the hardest things to swallow (aside from all the other stuff)… no NBA. Which really sucks because whenever I’ve been going through a tough time in the past, basketball was always the place I turned to for distraction. Even the NBA players are in the same boat as us.
Of course, I frequently check my privilege in this situation.
I’m healthy
I’m lower-risk
I’m employed, and
I’ve got this nice lady living in my apartment who gives me hugs sometimes
But overall… this sucks.
What I’m really Trying to Say…
As a side-hustler and soon-to-be full-time entrepreneur, I thought I’d share my unique perspective on how COVID-19 is affecting me.
I’m up. I’m down. I’m shaking all around. Anyone else?
It’s like… one minute I’m perfectly happy watching Ozark and five minutes later I’m in a pit of despair, never to emerge again.
I realized that one of the ways I was coping was to console myself with unhealthy snacks (chocolate, cookies, chips… anything really). I’ve been trying to cut that stuff out the last few days and to be honest, it seems to be making my mood worse. I don’t know, maybe I need to get over the hump or something.
Anyway, I think keeping a level-head is a bit too much to ask, but for mine and Ariana’s sake, I try to be “up” more often than “down”. Sometimes it works.
I’m very lucky to have a job that transitioned nicely into work-from-home, so my income has been stable.
I’m happy to report that my side hustle is also holding steady. Resume clients are coming in at the typical rate and video course viewership has actually gone up, believe it or not. So that’s awesome.
What’s hard is sitting at the same desk hustling in the early morning, working hard during the day, moving 8 feet to the kitchen to have lunch and dinner, then back at the desk to hustle in the evenings.
I miss the flow of hustling at my desk, writing on the subway, doing my day job at my office, then coming home to do the rest of the work here.
The physical separation of tasks was really helpful.
Now it all blends together and frankly, it’s harder to focus on anything really.
I’m worried about my health.
I’m worried about my friends and family.
I’m worried about the fate of the world.
I’m worried if Ariana and I will ever go on that Hawaiian vacation we’ve been planning and saving for over the past 14 months.
I’m also worried about my income. ..
I’ve got 3 months left that I know I’m bringing in a paycheck and although I’m still super, super excited to go full time on my business… the circumstances are not ideal.
To be honest, they suck.
I’m worried that if the world is still in shambles come August, the clients will slow down and I’ll have trouble supporting myself.
I’m worried I’m making a mistake by leaving a stable job… but no… I’ve been preparing for this for a really long time and I’m financially prepared to subsidize a slow start anyway (but you can see how my mind wavers easily on the topic.
But alas, I’m coping…
My only friend… a gentle duck
There are a few things that have been helping a lot throughout the process.
I’m journaling: just 15 minutes a day to put my thoughts on paper is really nice.
I’m reading a lot! I’ve gotten through 4.5 books in the last 6 weeks.
I’m trying new things: I’ve been participating in Ariana’s virtual fitness classes. Boxing is so hard, man!
I’m staying in touch with people: I’ve been having 1-2 virtual games nights per week with friends. And lots of FaceTimes with my loved ones as well.
Fresh air helps a lot, and I’m very lucky to be able to walk by the lake whenever I want.
We’re all going through a lot right now. But this will end… and we will be okay.
